I've been asking myself lately why it's so hard for me to hit "Publish". I have a number of posts sitting in my queue, waiting for something to tell me it's okay to hit that little button, but the motivation never comes. Am I scared of what my peers will think of me? I've hidden behind that excuse a couple of times, but the truth is that I don't need anyone else's approval.
With depression and anxiety, the problems I face are certainly my own, absolutely. However, there are people in my life who play roles in my stories and experiences. I've noticed that I've been holding back because no matter how ready I am to write my exposé, I have not been able to tell my truths of my struggles from fear of bringing people into them when they haven't agreed to it, leaving me stuck trying to tell stories of the past that don't hurt anyone else. But those posts don't feel real to me...they never did. I'm not that person anymore, but I'm sure as HELL still struggling.
That being said, if I'm ever going to able to #getreal the way I need to, this is my disclaimer: I will do my best to protect anonymity, but the stories I'm telling are my own; my own perspective, my own feelings, my own reality. These are my experiences.
I am ready to be my realest self, and if my goal really is to help end the stigma of mental health, it's time that I start being honest and telling it how it is. For example, I haven't left the floor of my living room, blanket draped over me, watching Gossip Girl for 3 days straight, forgetting to eat, and daring the world to try to force me to do something else.